Relieved

I had a feeling something is going wrong between us.

It was a weird feeling, but it seemed so real.

All of the sudden you keep telling me that you love me and you only ever wanted me to be yours.

Smiling, was the only respond I gave to you that time.

You promised me the world. 

Promised me forever.

Promised everything that I know you couldn’t do.

Yet, I believed in you. 

I believed in every shitty words that came out of your mouth.

Feelings.

            Have you ever felt you made a big mistake after taking back someone who hurts you many times? Have you ever felt like you are the stupidest person to forgive someone after he cheated on you several times? Have you ever felt so fed up of someone’s promises cos he always the one who breaks them? Have you ever thought that you deserve someone whom better than this person you are currently with? I have. Fyi, it’s the shittiest feeling on earth.

Forgive Me Not

I ever met someone whom I adored so much. 

He was an oldie, but a goldie.

I remember we had so many things in common, but most importantly, we both love reading.

I’ve never read any Japanese author, ‘till he introduced me to Haruki Murakami.

I remember one time he told me that he finished 1Q84 on the plane, that I should read it too.

That was when I began to fall in love with Murakami. 

He caused it and I ain't complaining.

One night I was such in anger.

We had big argument that I told him to go away.

Never had I ever thought he would be gone right away.

I only known him not in real life, which he decided to cut off all our connection.

He stopped talking to me since, which left me in such a regret to let go of a nice soul.

3 AM Thoughts

Just another day of staying awake in the late night

Acid Ghost – I Don’t Need You is playing on the phone

Yet actually, I do need you

I need you to hold me

I need you to hug me

I need you to tell me that everything’s gonna be okay

I need you by my side

Sometimes I’m tired of talking

Talking and texting through the screen

Don’t you want to be with me too?

In real life

Not in our imaginary world

Don’t you sometimes feel lonely?

Even when we are talking to each other

Even when we are laughing together

Even when we are sharing that good feeling on the call?

Frankly, I am tired of missing you.

Nothing But Coincidence

October 20^th, 2016

Coincidence? Probably.

It’s been a long time since the last time I spoke to him. The last time we spoke, he was so upset because I got a boyfriend. It wasn’t my fault, was it? Him and I had no relationship, at all. Just a regular friend, yet he got mad at me when I’m taken then deleted me on Skype.

In a boring night after a little fight with Mr. So Called Boyfriend, I got onto a random site that I used to go a lot in the past. It was the place where I met him actually. Yet, that night I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone that I’ve ever spoken to, but… I guess it’s not my lucky night.