Relieved

I had a feeling something is going wrong between us.

It was a weird feeling, but it seemed so real.

All of the sudden you keep telling me that you love me and you only ever wanted me to be yours.

Smiling, was the only respond I gave to you that time.

You promised me the world. 

Promised me forever.

Promised everything that I know you couldn’t do.

Yet, I believed in you. 

I believed in every shitty words that came out of your mouth.

Feelings.

            Have you ever felt you made a big mistake after taking back someone who hurts you many times? Have you ever felt like you are the stupidest person to forgive someone after he cheated on you several times? Have you ever felt so fed up of someone’s promises cos he always the one who breaks them? Have you ever thought that you deserve someone whom better than this person you are currently with? I have. Fyi, it’s the shittiest feeling on earth.

Forgive Me Not

I ever met someone whom I adored so much. 

He was an oldie, but a goldie.

I remember we had so many things in common, but most importantly, we both love reading.

I’ve never read any Japanese author, ‘till he introduced me to Haruki Murakami.

I remember one time he told me that he finished 1Q84 on the plane, that I should read it too.

That was when I began to fall in love with Murakami. 

He caused it and I ain't complaining.

One night I was such in anger.

We had big argument that I told him to go away.

Never had I ever thought he would be gone right away.

I only known him not in real life, which he decided to cut off all our connection.

He stopped talking to me since, which left me in such a regret to let go of a nice soul.

Ugly Truth

Have you ever felt so happy and then turn to be so sad all at once?
I have.
I was happy two hours ago. Now? I’m so f—king sad for no reason.
It was mainly about something that has been going on during this week I think.

Lovey dovey shit between two love birds that fucked up, and you are happened to be in between them.
To tell the truth, I once had feeling for the guy. Yet again, reality rarely lives up to high expectations.

It took me almost a year to realize the white lies. What a fool, right?
I’ve been so foolish to get involved in such a stupid game which well-played by a player whom such a dick himself. I even ever cried for him, once!

I was in pain.
But, why? He wasn’t even mine.